Well, somebody up there likes you.
by The Recruiting Animal
A few weeks ago our old Aunt Billie was having a talk with one of her clients, a big shot manager who didn't lose sleep when he was downsizing a dozen other guys but was depressed as hell when he was downsized himself.
This old boy was invited to go huntin' with some of the fellas out of state and didn't know if he should, seein' as he was out of work and all. So Aunt Billie decided to tell him one of her healing tales. She said, "Bubba, a bird dog is a natural born hunter. Why, you can't stop him from huntin' no matter how hard you try. See that old dog a yours? If he tries to catch a bird and can't, he don't get all sissy-pussed about it and lie in the corner. He just goes on after bird number two."
"Now, Billie," said the patient ('cause that's what he really was), "You done picked the wrong example. Cuz some of those boys up at the university done put a bunch of dogs in a wire cage and shot some electricity through the wires and when those dogs couldn't get away from the pain they just went and got depressed, just like me. Sat there doin' nothing no matter how bad it got.
"Are you in a wire cage?" asked Billie.
"I feel like I am."
"But you're not, are you?"
"Yes I am."
Well, that just breaks your heart, don't it? It's lonely out there, isn't it job-hunters? But you aren't alone. Someone up in the frozen north is thinking a lot about you. And, it's not Santa. It's a hoser named Dave.
Yes, David Perry, the Gorilla Headhunter, has put together a program designed to keep you out of the dumps this holiday season. Isn't that great? So put that bottle down and get with the program. It's called the 12 Steps of Christmas Job-Hunting. And you can find it here.
Too depressed to read? Well, just in time for Christmas, you can hear the best parts in audio on Total Picture Radio.
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